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Business & Tech

Spread 'Em

The Bagel Market is an emporium of all things schmearable.

Call me a traditionalist, but for my inaugural “Eating Park Slope” column it only seemed right to review a neighborhood breakfast staple: the bagel.

Because in this fine Brooklyn neighborhood, I defy someone to show me a single resident who doesn’t love a good bagel. Fed to children with a thick layer of cream cheese, a good bagel can buy more consecutive minutes of silence than any mass-marketed pacifier.

Decked out in luxurious trimmings such as lox, capers and cukes, the same bagel is elevated to celebratory brunch status, deserving of a partner mimosa even. 

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But as any discerning Sloper knows, not all bagels are created equal. And the worst ones are a shanda: dry, thin, and flavorless. We will not speak of those.

Thank goodness for us, then, that The Bagel Market exists.

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Opened a little over a year ago, instantly offered some much-needed competition to La Bagel Delight’s longstanding monopoly along Seventh Avenue.

At first glance, the biggest difference between these two establishments is the ambience. Where La Bagel is historically frenetic; the Bagel Market has an easy-going, intimate vibe. There’s something inherently more civilized in not having to shout your order over the deli case—it’s not as deep as the ones at La Bagel, making for less distance between you and your bagel technician.

Speaking of staff, after multiple visits to both Bagel Market and La Bagel Delight a general statement can be made that the service is friendlier at the former. While the main focus of this column will always be food, I’m going to go on record that I prefer my schmear without any leer. Pointing at you again, La Bagel.

But back to the topic at hand: taste. The Bagel Market offers a wide array of edibles from Hale & Hearty soups to hamentaschen in the bakery case. The choose-your-own salad bar is often heralded as the area’s only healthy lunch option, and the slices of pie in to-go containers beat Sweet Melissa’s steep prices any day of the week. Since none of those items are singled out in the name of the cafe, however, we will stick to those that are.

Bagels.

Hand-rolled and baked fresh every morning, the bagels at the Market are available in two sizes, regular ($.95) and mini ($.80) in an array of standard variations from sesame to poppy seed, pumpernickel and egg, everything, salted, blueberry or cinnamon raisin.There are gluten-free versions for celiacs to enjoy and flagels (flat bagels) to satisfy outliers, too.

But for my time, if you’re trying to cut calories, save a few pennies and still yield the most flavor, choose the minis.

A third smaller than today’s super-sized gut bombs, the mini bagels retain desirable hard outer shells and chewy insides. No toasting necessary. Eaten plain, you can (and will) savor the slight tug and salinity of each bite. But you will be missing out on what The Bagel Market really does best—toppings.

Whoever dreams up the cream cheese flavor combinations at the Market has a decidedly open mind. You can roll old-school style with some creamy whitefish or tuna salad (both with just enough, but not–too-much mayo) or get in touch with your more hedonistic side, indulging in Bacon & Scallion (a combination that sadly isn’t available on most menu boards elsewhere) or Olive Pimento.

The truly adventurous will no doubt scramble toward the Jalapeño & Asiago, a fiery yet unctuous pairing. More nostalgic types may prefer the sweet comfort of seasonal flavors such as Apple & Cinnamon or Pumpkin.

Lactose-intolerant? Plenty of tofu-based options for you too. That is one of the joys of returning to The Bagel Market; there is always a new spread to be tried.

You may not always get a seat at one of the seven tables and three bar stools at this deli. You may have to wait on line. You may endure Lite FM music drifting down from the speakers. These slight discomforts will be worth it, however, once you tuck into the soft, often-still-warm dough of these neighborhood bagels and have a sip of fresh squeezed O.J. It’s the way mornings were meant to begin. 

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