Socialsklz are Brooklyn-Bound

What’s the most important determinant of your child’s success in life? People skills. Or, as entrepreneur Faye Rogaski would write, peopleskillz. 

Public relations executive Rogaski wants to teach your child a thing or two, and frankly, you should let her.

While teaching marketing and public relations to undergraduates at New York University, she observed a few disturbing trends among her students: Their inability to make eye contact when speaking or being spoken to; their excessive use of the word “like” and “you know”; some young women’s choice of midriff-bearing apparel during professional presentations; too many E-mails with inappropriate and casual greetings of “Hey, what’s the homework assignment?”; and the straw that broke the camel’s back, their appalling and salacious Facebook updates. The only example she would offer up was a student doing a keg stand.

“My students would forget that they ‘friended’ me for our social media campaigns,” she says.

Socialsklz is Rogaski’s answer to this burgeoning dilemma of uncouth kids and she hopes to give her pupils, “tools to thrive in the modern world.” Her approach, though, is to get ’em young before they turn into surly teenagers and ill-mannered adults. She offers an array of programs for various age groups and specific goals. The one coming to Brooklyn this fall is Club Socialsklz and is divided into two groups: socialkidz for ages 4 to 7 and socialtweenz for ages 8 to 12. 

If you’re wondering why you have to pay someone to teach these fundamental skills to your children, it's a good question. Certainly you’ve tried to instill certain niceties into their everyday routine, and probably will continue to do so throughout their lives. But as you may or may not have noticed, a lot of it has fallen on deaf ears.

“Parents tend to be in a corrective mode when they make demands like, 'Say please.' 'Say thank you.' 'Do this.' 'Do that,'” explains Rogaski.

According to the International School of Protocol, “Children are more receptive to etiquette instruction when it comes from a nonparental figure.” But you already knew that. And so does Rogaski. Socialsklz helps children master the task of civilized behavior with fun, humor and the positive reinforcement of a job well done. 

Socialkidz teaches the younger set the basics of face-to-face interaction like making eye contact and how to properly greet someone. Other skills include how to make and receive phone calls and how to express thank you in the form of a handwritten note.  

Curriculum for socialtweenz expands on the basics of the meet-and-greet but also imparts the value of being organized, being prepared and perhaps most importantly, punctuality.   

A typical session has approximately eight to 10 kids role-playing real-life situations in which these skills are needed. Sometimes Rogaski takes the kids on mini field trips in the neighborhood. For instance she might have them walk on the left-hand side of the sidewalk so they can experience first-hand just how rude it is to bump into people. There's nothing like a scowling stranger to set them on the straight (right hand-side) path.

She might thank them for something and then ask, “How did that make you feel?” Experiencing a genuinely expressed thank-you can be transforming for them, says Rogaski. Her students are amazed by how much better a sincere thank-you feels as compared to the rote one so many have been performing for years.

In other words she’s not teaching them in a vacuum. She’s applying these skills to their everyday existence and she’s making sure they feel it deep down too. That’s how she gets these practices to stick. By having them feel it in their hearts, their souls, their bones. 

The socialsklz tagline used to be “manners for the modern world” until Rogaski overheard two of her students talking: “One girl turned to the other and whispered, ‘My mom told me this is a manners class but this is so much more fun.’”

She quickly dispatched of the word "manners” in all her marketing materials. And to be sure, her logo, with its playfully spelled sklz and emoticon at the end, takes care of any preconceived notions that socialsklz has anything in common with fusty old-school manners. Disciples of Judith Martin need not apply.

Rogaski realized the demand for socialsklz classes in Brooklyn when she noticed how many parents were schlepping their kids into Manhattan from our fine borough.

She wants parents to know that social skills are as important in kids’ lives as math, science and literacy. And she’s right. 

According to an article on sciencedaily.com, “'soft skills' such as sociability, punctuality, conscientiousness and an ability to get along well with others, along with participation in extracurricular activities, are better predictors of earnings and higher educational achievement later in life than having good grades and high standardized test scores.” 

Whatever your goals for your child’s future, good social skills seem like a smart investment in their emotional health.

Brooklyn’s Club Socialsklz program kicks off on Thursday, September 19 at the Brooklyn Society for Ethical Culture. Classes are every Thursday from 3:45 p.m. to 5 p.m. and run for 12 weeks.